Being the Right Person

My husband often says, "It's not about meeting the right person, it's about being the right person." Great advice for any relationship, but exceptional advice for the marriage relationship!

We often think about what our needs are in our relationship, but how often do we put our needs aside and focus on what our spouse needs?  That has been one of the most challenging things for me to learn during our 10 years of marriage!  I spent the first 5-6 years of our marriage trying to mold my husband into the man I thought he needed to be so that he could meet my needs, I wish I knew then what I've learned in the past 5 years!  When I finally quit focusing on my needs and began focusing on what I could give to our relationship, my husband soon became the "man of my dreams".  You see, that guy in the romance novels or the movies?  He doesn't exist, but so many times we measure our husbands by that standard and then are sorely disappointed when the fail to measure up to those fantastical expectations.

When I say that Ben became the "man of my dreams" I don't mean that he suddenly became some romantic, sensitive man who knew my every need before I ever spoke it.  But rather, my dreams changed or matured should I say?  I started focusing on what his needs were and he responded by becoming more in tuned to me.  Before you think it... no we are not the perfect couple and yes we do still have disagreements and issues that rise up and need resolved, but the difference is how we handle those issues.  We've both tried to get in the habit of putting the other's needs first, we both (mostly me) still slip into our old ways sometimes but we've learned that we will never have the perfect marriage since there are no perfect people in this world!  But we do have a pretty wonderful marriage, and ladies... in my opinion... he's pretty close to perfect!

That brings me to phase 4 of our TLC game.

It's all about him!


Blog Post:


Phase 3 TLC Game


"This week we will working on "information gathering".  Do your homework.  Find out what your man likes to do!  Regardless of what you might believe about the "male species" sex isn't the only thing they're interested in!  (thought that is vitally important to every marriage!)  Find where his favorite place to eat is if you don't already know.  What's his favorite dessert?    What's his favorite past time?  Gather as much information about your man as possible this week."  


The final phase to the game is going to be the best!  Now that you've began retraining your brain to think positively about your man and gathered your information to try to get to know him better it's time to put all of that to good use. So this week pick a few of his favorites and do something special for him every day starting Monday through Saturday.  Whether it's his favorite meal or dessert.  Once I took Ben on a date!  I drove and everything!  I took him to one of his favorite burger places and let him choose what activity we did on our date.  It was fun and it was definitely a surprise to him.  Get creative ladies!  Throw that man of yours for a loop!