Saturday, May 14, 2011

Our Needs Are Important

In view of recent posts, I just want to make a few things clear.  Marriage issues are never just one person's fault.  There are two sides to every story and neither husband or wife are perfect individuals so both are capable of causing equal conflict in the relationship.  That's one thing that is shared 50/50 in a relationship, our equal knack for causing problems!

Another issue that I need to clear up... Our needs as women are just as important as our husbands needs, and I am not trying to insinuate that the marriage issues are of the womans making and that she is solely responsible for correcting the mistakes in the marriage.  We women need to feel needed and loved by our husbands.  We have to feel that the love and respect are mutual.  The point I am trying to make is that someone has to start the healing process in the relationship and a lot of times men don't even realize that there is a problem until we bring it up.  A lot of times the only expectation that a man goes into marriage with is sex!  We women go into marriage with a whole library fool of romance novels stuck in our brain that we expect our relationship to be like and what our men should measure up to.  We've got to get the romance novel relationship out of our heads and start facing reality.  I even took a break from romance novels for a while to "get the IV out of my vein" so to speak.  Even Christian novels can lead you to believe in false expectations for your marriage so we must be on guard and not fill our head and hearts with all that "romantical mush"!

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