Wednesday, November 30, 2011

You’ve Lost Your Mystery, Now What?

If you’re anything like me,  (I think I’m a pretty average woman) at some point during your marriage you’ve started feeling like you’ve lost that special something that lured your man and made him fall desperately in love with you. 

Let’s face it, we’re no longer 19, we don’t feel 19 and once again if you’re like me you definitely don’t look 19 anymore!!!  I’ve managed to keep the weight off and I keep myself pretty active so that helps; but there’s the lose skin and stretch marks from four pregnancies, I quit tanning bed’s years ago due to health concerns…I’m tired most of the time and I just don’t feel exiting anymore!  We have a pretty good sex life and I still wear the sexy nighties (you’d be amazed at how much of a difference what you where to bed makes :-), but sometimes I wonder if my guy is still excited about me?  My stomach still does those little flip flops when he walks into the room, when he stops and puts his hand on the small of my back or when he wears blue jeans and a white t-shirt… talk about distracting!  I’ve always felt like I was the lucky one in our relationship!  If you’ve looked at my profile picture you’d know what I mean, my husband is one good looking guy!  How do I make sure that he’s still as excited about me as I am about having snagged him?
For this blog I talked to my best friend about her little antics, what she does to keep that mystery how she keeps her man coming back for more!   

My best friend (Married 8 years) said, “I pamper myself! I wear a color he likes me in, shave my legs… take my time fixing my hair.  Sometimes I think back to when we were dating and try to remember how I acted then that attracted him to me.”  There’s some great advice!  She also said that the one thing her husband hates is that “sometimes I don’t know how to relax and chill, have a good time!  He likes it when I’m positive…” 

Ouch!   There’s I touchy one!  I’ve asked my husband what he wants most in his woman and of course his mind went straight to the gutter!  After I got him back on the right path he said that what he wants most from me is “a positive attitude.”  Guys have enough negativity coming at them from every side all day, the last thing they want is to get hit in the face with it when they walk through the door!   I’m not saying we’re supposed to be Pollyanna 24/7, God knows I’m not!   That’s something I’ve worked hard on for the past few years.  I used to go straight to the worst case scenario.  Ben’s been so patient with me during this time of retraining my brain to think positively.  I’d like to be able to say that I’ve mastered the art of optimism but I haven’t.  I am working on it though.  Guess what, guys don’t want perfection, they just want to know that you’re theirs to keep!

Since I try to keep my blogs a short read I will be continuing this one at a later date!  There’s definitely more where this came from! 

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