Leroy and Helen met in the Summer of 1950 at a youth rally
in a neighboring town. She was sitting
in the balcony with her friends when she spotted a tall good looking guy in the
audience down below, she got his attention by throwing tiny pieces of paper
down at him. I can see her now giggling
with her friends. She still had a bit of
that sparkle in her eyes when I met her.
Apparently she got his attention, they married six months later! They
had three or four children together.
I’m still not sure how many children they have. You see by the time I met Leroy and Helen the alzheimers had already begun to erase those beautiful memories from her mind,
and since he doesn’t talk much I couldn’t tell you. She has two wedding sets, one that he gave
her when they married in 1950 and one from their 25th wedding
anniversary. She still wears them both, but the story she used to tell me about
them is forgotten, and that sparkle in her eye is gone. Now she’s just confused.
Helen showed up at my house the other day in tears because she
couldn’t get her locket fastened and Leroy’s hands are too shaky. In her mind
she knows it’s something special but that memory is gone as well. She told me she just won’t take it off
anymore so she won’t lose it. We talked
for a while over some Earl Grey, biscuits and Lemon Curd. I kept having to console her, she’d just
start saying “I just don’t know…” and then begin crying again. She’s always telling me that no one wants her
around. I always assure her that I want
her and that she’s welcome here any time.
While I know she doesn’t remember my name, somehow she knows she can
come to me and cry.
I talked with Leroy today and with tears in his eyes and
despondent look on his old face, he told me he thinks he’s going to have to put
her in a home. He just can’t do it
anymore. Whenever he sleeps during the
day time she ends up over at my house, she keeps him up at all hours of the
night talking non- stop. I joked with
him that’s just because she’s a woman.
We both laughed, but we know that the inevitable is just around the
corner. I can see the exhaustion on his
face. He doesn’t want to let go of her
but for her safety and his health, he knows it must be done.
When I came home after cleaning up at their home for a bit,
I sat at the kitchen table and cried. My
heart aches for the memories that are forever lost and for the love that Helen
can no longer remember. Leroy told me
that half the time she doesn’t remember him and wonders “why doesn’t my husband
call me?” My heart aches for him because
the hardest thing is having her with him, yet she is lost to him. To her he’s become a stranger.
The purpose of this post is to remind all of us to love our
husband/wife and treat them like they mean the world to us while we can. A day may come when our love story ends as
Leroy and Helen’s has. Love fervently,
love unconditionally and love often. Don’t
waste your time fighting about petty things that really don’t matter. Don’t break each other’s heart. Work out your difficulties. You’ll never
regret staying together, but you will regret all the times you withheld your
love when you should have just forgiven.
Make every moment count.
