Deep in the heart of every individual there is a burning desire a desperate plea to be loved by someone. We all feel it, it is a God given desire for a meaningful relationship. There is no one who truly does not care if they are loved or not. Some spend their lives trying to convince others they need no one, wanting people to believe they are completely "self sufficient" when truly they are dying inside because of the rejection they feel.
They say "sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words will never hurt me..." I believe this to be the biggest falsehood of all time. Not only do spoken words make one feel unloved and rejected, it's the unspoken words that can have an even more devastating affect on a life! Have you ever heard someone say "My Mom/Dad never told me he/she loved me... they never said they were proud of me" You see, it's the unspoken words that can lead to a lifetime of feeling worthless, as if you mean nothing to no one.
In the heart of everyone there is a "God-sized hole" that only He can fill. Your spouse may try to fill that space or rather you may try to fill that space with them, but until we know who we are in Christ we can never truly feel that we are worth something. Until we give the hurt and rejection over to Jesus we will never truly feel accepted.
Maybe your parents never told you they loved you, and since you were a child you've felt unwanted and worthless. Until you are able to give that hurt to Christ you will never know what true love feels like and you will never be able to love completely.
What makes a 15 year old girl give her virginity to a 19 year old guy? It's that yearning to be loved, she never had much a father figure in her life, he was to self absorbed to see that his daughter needed the love of her father. So she started looking for that love and affection in another way... what made that 19 year old guy take advantage of that girl? It was his own need to feel accepted and loved. His Dad was absent most of his life and he was never taught how a man is supposed to treat a woman.
It seems to be an endless cycle in our culture. The more we serve the god of "ME" the less love we are able to show to our children and our spouse. The more we are consumed with "me" and "my" needs the less we are able to see that we are losing our focus on "them".
I'm a stay at home mom and at times it is challenging to put my family first. I've had to miss countless ladies nights because my husband was working late (not by choice but by necessity). I'm not perfect and I can admit that I have thrown some huge pity parties, whistles and streamers included! At times I've caught myself thinking that I am "owed" some "me time"! I'm not saying that we mom's should sacrifice every minute of every day and never get time to ourselves, we need occasional time to "regroup". What I am saying is that a mother should not get used too much "me time". I've saw a devoted momma become so consumed with "me time" that she left the family and began reliving her youth. That's when the cycle begins. That mother or father who decides they are "owed" that time becomes so caught up in their own needs that they fail to see that little girl or boy who's only need at that stage in their life is to feel accepted and loved by their parent... enter pregnant 15 year old girl.
My challenge to you is simple. Lets start making our family our focus instead of becoming bitter that we're stuck at home all day with 4 kids. Break the cycle! Lets try giving that desperately needed love and affection to our children. Lets quit nagging and wearing down that amazing man who's worked hard all day to provide for your family, and start showing him how much you appreciate his sacrifice! You'll be surprised at how much of an affect breaking that cycle will have on your marriage and on the self confidence level of your children and your husband and even yourself!
