India

Out on ministry

Two years ago I had the privilege of going to India with my husband for a missions trip.  It was my first, but my husband had already been to India two times before and to at least two other countries at that time.  As you can imagine, it was a bit nerve racking for me being out of the USofA  for the first time.

The wonderful thing about going on the missions trip was that we were thrown together with no kids for 16 days!  I'm not going to say that I didn't miss my kids.  I cried just about every day because they're such a part of me.  I will always be grateful for that time with my husband though.  I came back home and went through withdrawals when Ben went back to work!  We'd spent so much positive time together so when we got home I didn't want to let that go.  Our love, our relationship changed then and I couldn't have been happier!  Because my husband is in his element in a foreign country, I depended completely on him to make the decisions.  I think I may have drove him crazy because wherever we went I was right no his heels!

I remember one experience when we were in Mumbai that still makes me smile.  We were preparing to cross a very busy street to get back to our hotel on the other side.  If you've ever been to a foreign country, the first thing you notice is that their traffic laws are a little bit different from ours here in America in that, THERE ARE NO TRAFFIC LAWS!  It's every man/woman for themselves.  As we were standing there getting ready to cross when the next break in the stream of cars came, Ben leaned over to me and said "stay right with me!" Very needless instructions at that point! Seriously, did he really think I was going to lollygag around and chase butterfly's? I'm sure I gave him a look that said he was completely insane to think that I would risk crossing that street on my own!

Down the street from our hotel

Going to India put me in a place that I was out of my element and was forced to depend completely on my husband!  I'm sure some women would think that I was weak because I was so vulnerable and dependent on a man.  Say what you will!  I needed that time and our marriage reached a whole new level while we were there.  I fully expected to just go back to the same ol' same ol' where our marriage was concerned, but it never did.  Now I live for the weekends not because we have such an exciting life, but because I thoroughly enjoy the times when my husband is at home and we're together as a family!

So many women now days have the mindset that they'll lose their identity if they get married and depend on their husband.  They want to be in control of their lives or their "destiny".  A lot of women are choosing to keep their last name when they get married now, they don't want to take on their husbands because they just might "lose themselves".  Do you want to know my opinion on the matter? Since this is my blog you're going to get my opinion whether you want it or not!  These women are very self conscious and insecure.  If a woman is secure in herself she shouldn't mind giving up her name to take her husbands.  A secure person does not worry whether they are perceived as weak or not, they really don't care what others think!

Five years ago when I came to the end of myself, I had no idea where my new found joy would lead.  But as I sit here in my chair with a cup of coffee and can say truthfully, I am happier than I ever dreamed I could be!  I have the love of a man who keeps his promises and treats me way better than I deserve. I never used to believe in fairy tales until I began living one.  My concept of them just changed.  I am living happily ever after. What's sad is that so many people don't realize that we make our "happily ever after".  No, my husband and I don't live in a Utopia that's perfect and never and unkind word is spoken.  We don't agree on everything, but that's part of what makes a marriage interesting and a challenge!  Learning to live with someone with different ideas from your own is wonderful!  What if Ben and I agreed on everything?  We'd get bored!  Something that cracks me up is how that so many people (movie stars mostly) sight irreconcilable difference as their reason for splitting up! That's almost laughable to me because, that's what marriage is supposed to be!  Your differences are what make you!  What if you married another you?  Then you would always know what to expect and would never be challenged to become any better than what you are.

India made me realize so many things about our relationship that I wonder if I would have ever saw had we not gone.  Being out of my comfort zone and being in Ben's made me see him in a whole different light.  And yes I saw myself as well and it changed me.  I loved my husband before India, but now I respect him in a whole new way.  I will forever be thankful for India.